What is meaning? And how do I make it?
The material composition of Life is Time and Space. In fundamental terms, when we say we are given Life, we are given Time (24 hours a day) and Space (the physicality to exist in this world and affect it).
Who gave us Life? I don't know. Many end up using all of their Time and Space trying to find out. That is fine but I think, even if I spend my whole lifetime trying to figure that out, I still won't have conclusive and absolute findings (and by then, would have created too many enemies to enjoy the idea of "knowing"). So I settle for gratefulness. I am just grateful everyday - for the Time and Space given to me every time i wake up, then proceed to use them.
How do I decide to use them (Time and Space)? Well, I think people, myself included, want to enjoy Life, have the things and people that will make them happy. Correspondingly, Time and Space are used in pursuing interests and possessing things that people think give them pleasurable feelings. People surround themselves with people they like, who make them laugh, who make them feel the best versions of their selves. For the most part, I think this is a given for everyone.
But I think it's also advantageous to feel emotions other and less pleasurable than joy, excitement, wonder, confidence and other feel-good ones. Pain, shame, social awkwardness draw out the best avoidance tactics from us. But I think the contrast between the pleasurable and painful heightens the capacity of the senses to feel and differentiate among the myriad of emotions we feel at one point, just like a connoisseur's tongue, made discriminating by experience, can appreciate and identify flavors from a dish.
So, I think the Point of Life in its earlier stages is just to experience it, not necessarily to enjoy it. Later life provides the Time to zero in, focus on the enjoying part. Quantity first, then Quality. It's just like picking out the product you like. You do your research and canvassing first, try it out once or twice. And then you select one, purchase it and live with it.
Where is the concept of right and wrong in this thinking? Hmmm. Well, right and wrong are very tricky ideas, highly dependent on the context in which one is to make the distinction. And even when contextualized, sometimes there is still a very thin and fuzzy line between them, which may practically disappear when you blink or slightly change the tilt of your head and thus, the angle of view.
Instead, I think the question to be asked is: Can you enjoy Life knowing a lot of people around you are miserable and suffering? I think some people can. Others can't. You just have to decide in which group you want to be, and then act accordingly.
At this point in my life, I think I'm in the latter. Even as the pull of the ego is constantly strong and my self-control always oscillating, I hope I won't ever want to switch sides. I'm still trying to figure out how best I can use my Time and Space to help out. I'm zeroing in on the fields of Education or Communication. I hope to come to a decision soon and eventually muster the courage and discipline to act on it.
In summary:
1. Use time and space consciously. Whatever you do, say, think, it's okay; you owe nothing, not even an explanation, to anyone. Just make sure it's you who have decided on what you do, say or think. Because in the end, no one's responsible for your "happiness" but you alone.
2. Find variety and self-fulfillment first in experiences, then quality and others-fulfillment later.
