thought cluster 1:
the emotional anatomy of a run
- running always makes you feel good...AFTER you're done running.
- it makes your brain go blank DURING running. it's like someone dunked your face into a bucket full of water. in the first few seconds, you can still wonder about things (hmm, do i need to do OT later? / crap, i forgot my towel! now i have to hide from the gym instructor / damn, i stink!). after 3 minutes or so, your multi-trail mind gets on a one-way track: breathe damnit!
- it makes you sigh BEFORE you run. whether in relief (yes, finally, some time to de-stress!), grief (gah, do i have to?) or boredom (not again, i just ran yesterday), you don't really attempt to lock on to the feeling; it's better to leave it vague.
thought cluster 2:
Internet wandering today led you to a bbc article that says european forests are nearing its "saturation point" in absorbing atmospheric CO2. this means there will come a time that europe-rooted trees won't be able to contribute in the Global Forest Project of eliminating the excess CO2 in our atmosphere and cool down our planet a bit. you dunno what their asian, north and south american, middle eastern, as well as african tree counterparts have to say about that. but if they stage a strike and altogether stop sucking in the CO2, you wonder if we can swap our O2-using lungs for CO2-using ones instead? hmmmmm.
thought outburst 1:
your room is a pig sty! (which makes u a....)
stray thought 1:
you wonder what happened to the referral you gave to the HR. and the guy isn't even updating you. aysusginoo.
thought cluster 3:
so you got what you wanted. out of the more-structured class for korean. now into the ... uncertainty of self-study of malay. haha. maybe you should start small. 5 words a day, what do you say? nothing to lose.
on the subject of studying, should you go back and just finish your MA? you've gotten some money saved up now for the tuition fee and some to spare for the miscellaneous expenses. but is your heart still in the course you picked? gah. you just gave your brain something to work on tonight. maybe you should go for a run again. o.O
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
time travel to 2013!
random, fleeting thoughts: losing it
trying to resuscitate your ailing interest to write is like washing down a sizable chunk of meat lodged in your gullet. it just won't budge (and your core self is already purplish blue from choking).
you worry that the damage might be one of those things that are permanent. irreversible. like losing a limb or your two front adult teeth. (you may be able to replace them with artificial ones, but you will live with the haunting, unshakeable feeling that a part of you will always be fake.)
---
in creative writing class, prof said that a writer has a certain voice - a distinctive way one puts together prose like a weaver fashions a pattern in fabric. if you are familiar enough with a writer's work, you almost always can tell from the get-go what particular piece she wrote.
my hope is that i don't swap mine for a disclaimer-type voice. that way i will still recognize my self when i write.
======
highlight of the day: having lunch with your teammates.
you're in a...ahem, "special" team. whether or not you are special is debatable. what you can acknowledge is that you don't want to be special if it equates to more work. haha.
you have to admit though. there really is something special about your teammates. they actually care about the work! (imagine that. o.0) and that's something to respect and appreciate. cheers, mates! you make me want to do my best.
======
for the long haul: career growth
let's face it. your next job won't have "Must be knowledgeable about disclaimers and be an expert in MS Word shortcuts" as a criterion for employment.
so how do you improve yourself professionally while you are in this job?
the only road forward that you see has a "Languages" sign. a translator job back home will pay decent money and will maintain your not-too-social policy in work arrangements. so get your act together! it's easy to learn Malay so better get that settled through self-study. for profitability, set your sights on Japanese or French.
you can go back to publishing, too, you suppose. but beware, you might frown at your first paycheck.
=====
will try to post one blog entry a week. self-discipline is a slippery fella.
trying to resuscitate your ailing interest to write is like washing down a sizable chunk of meat lodged in your gullet. it just won't budge (and your core self is already purplish blue from choking).
you worry that the damage might be one of those things that are permanent. irreversible. like losing a limb or your two front adult teeth. (you may be able to replace them with artificial ones, but you will live with the haunting, unshakeable feeling that a part of you will always be fake.)
---
in creative writing class, prof said that a writer has a certain voice - a distinctive way one puts together prose like a weaver fashions a pattern in fabric. if you are familiar enough with a writer's work, you almost always can tell from the get-go what particular piece she wrote.
my hope is that i don't swap mine for a disclaimer-type voice. that way i will still recognize my self when i write.
======
highlight of the day: having lunch with your teammates.
you're in a...ahem, "special" team. whether or not you are special is debatable. what you can acknowledge is that you don't want to be special if it equates to more work. haha.
you have to admit though. there really is something special about your teammates. they actually care about the work! (imagine that. o.0) and that's something to respect and appreciate. cheers, mates! you make me want to do my best.
======
for the long haul: career growth
let's face it. your next job won't have "Must be knowledgeable about disclaimers and be an expert in MS Word shortcuts" as a criterion for employment.
so how do you improve yourself professionally while you are in this job?
the only road forward that you see has a "Languages" sign. a translator job back home will pay decent money and will maintain your not-too-social policy in work arrangements. so get your act together! it's easy to learn Malay so better get that settled through self-study. for profitability, set your sights on Japanese or French.
you can go back to publishing, too, you suppose. but beware, you might frown at your first paycheck.
=====
will try to post one blog entry a week. self-discipline is a slippery fella.
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