time travel to 2013!

random, fleeting thoughts: losing it

trying to resuscitate your ailing interest to write is like washing down a sizable chunk of meat lodged in your gullet. it just won't budge (and your core self is already purplish blue from choking).

you worry that the damage might be one of those things that are permanent. irreversible. like losing a limb or your two front adult teeth. (you may be able to replace them with artificial ones, but you will live with the haunting, unshakeable feeling that a part of you will always be fake.)

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in creative writing class, prof said that a writer has a certain voice - a distinctive way one puts together prose like a weaver fashions a pattern in fabric. if you are familiar enough with a writer's work, you almost always can tell from the get-go what particular piece she wrote.

my hope is that i don't swap mine for a disclaimer-type voice. that way i will still recognize my self when i write.

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highlight of the day: having lunch with your teammates.

you're in a...ahem, "special" team. whether or not you are special is debatable. what you can acknowledge is that you don't want to be special if it equates to more work. haha.

you have to admit though. there really is something special about your teammates. they actually care about the work! (imagine that. o.0) and that's something to respect and appreciate. cheers, mates! you make me want to do my best.

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for the long haul: career growth

let's face it. your next job won't have "Must be knowledgeable about disclaimers and be an expert in MS Word shortcuts" as a criterion for employment.

so how do you improve yourself professionally while you are in this job?

the only road forward that you see has a "Languages" sign. a translator job back home will pay decent money and will maintain your not-too-social policy in work arrangements. so get your act together! it's easy to learn Malay so better get that settled through self-study. for profitability, set your sights on Japanese or French.

you can go back to publishing, too, you suppose. but beware, you might frown at your first paycheck.

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will try to post one blog entry a week. self-discipline is a slippery fella.